Sure thing. Here it goes:
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Okay, let’s talk about this update from Raven Software for Call of Duty: Warzone. They dropped it on May 13—it’s like they just woke up and realized they had more rewards to shove at us. High Art event? Extended till May 22 now. So, more time to grab whatever weird trinkets they think we want. Anyone else notice how this game is like the Santa Claus of virtual rewards? But wait, wasn’t it supposed to finish on May 15? Who knows what they’re planning, right?
Oh, and get this, the update did a number on some bugs. You know, the kind that makes you swear at your screen because your character moves like they’re in quicksand when aiming down sights. They said they fixed it, but I guess we’ll see. Speaking of Verdansk (which gets all the love), now you’ve got the Train Station open and some robust motorbike zooming around. They keep stuffing more contracts in there too—Big Game Bounty, Train Recon, you name it. Ever wonder if there’s too much going on? Or maybe that’s just me getting distracted.
Meanwhile, High Art keeps serving up rewards off this Event Pass—a Seth Rogen skin, because why not, right? Double XP Tokens to help you pretend you’re leveling faster and some weapon blueprints. I suppose someone out there’s keeping a trophy cabinet.
Bug fixes are here too, surprise, surprise! They tweaked aim speeds if you’re prone or crouching. Less snail, more cheetah. Oh, and emotes in Ranked Play got axed again. Apparently, players were bending the rules. Who would’ve thought shaking a virtual booty could be so advantageous? And those operator voice-overs yelling in your ear without taking a breath—finally sorted. Maybe now I’ll consider turning my sound back on.
Now, do you ever get stuck on a revive time longer than your average coffee break? Fixed! Well, that’s what they claim, anyway. They said they’ve handled those weird glitches with the “How Prestige Works” button. Waiting to drop into a match and fussing with menus shouldn’t feel like rocket science.
Look, I get they’re keeping the game lively, but sometimes it feels like watching someone else’s chaotic art project grow. Or maybe that’s the point. Anyway—wait, no—where was I? Ah, right. More fun supposedly, but really just making sure you stay hooked. As if we’d ever leave.
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Hope that captures it!