Oh man, where do I even start with “Doom: The Dark Ages”? So, right off the bat, it’s got this gameplay that just clicks with me. Like, really, shield parrying in an FPS? Finally, someone had the guts to do it. And the weapons — shotgun, baby! — are an absolute blast. But hey, don’t pretend I’m all sunshine about this. There are these parts…they just don’t gel with the whole shebang. Like when the Doom Slayer’s suddenly piloting a giant mech or hitching a ride on this crazy dragon with neon techy wings. It’s like, why does this feel off?
Okay, so picture this: you’re in the Atlan, which feels like stepping into a Pacific Rim dream. Massive Gundam vibes, crushing everything in its path. But, and here’s the kicker, it’s using its fists and not, I dunno, an epic chainsaw shield? Seriously, why? Parrying with giant fists seems, err, a missed opportunity, right? Instead, it’s just tiptoeing away from demon punches. Kinda like watching a giraffe trying ballet in a hurricane — awkward and doesn’t pack the punch you’d hope.
Then there are these times when the Atlan grabs a gigantic gun. Finally, right? Blasting demons, oh yes, now we’re talking. But it fuels up by dodging? What kind of logic is that? Dodging to ammo up… makes zero sense in my sleepy brain. And then, ugh, it tosses the gun after you clear the stage. Every. Single. Time. Why not let me keep playing Godzilla with an oversized gun?
And then — oh boy — the dragon bits. They think they nailed it, but nah. Riding a dragon with laser wings ought to be off-the-charts cool, right? But then you’re just hovering around, waiting to dodge attacks, as if that could power your guns. I mean, why sit around waiting for a turret of all things? Total mood killer. Where’s the destruction and chaos, man? Oh, and those bits where the dragon’s zooming around like a wild thing, shooting down demon jets — major win. Why wasn’t that the whole gig?
So, yeah, “Doom: The Dark Ages” scores major points in some areas. The whole fusion of medieval and tech? Big thumbs up. And the weapon lineup — it’s like Christmas morning every time. The chainsaw shield? Chef’s kiss. But, oh, do those mech and dragon parts stand out as the awkward cousins. They’ve got ideas, but execution? Not quite there. Next time they throw a dragon into the mix, let’s hope it’s got the mojo to make the Doom Slayer himself jealous.
